your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
