I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
