i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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