I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
