I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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