That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
