Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize