I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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