You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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