Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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