...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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