we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
