my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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