a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
