yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize