East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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