She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All I want is dick and wine.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
