the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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