just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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