are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
