I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
