can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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