Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
