Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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