just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
