we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
BRING THE BAGELS
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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