Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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