So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just tell him i said nine months
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize