You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
