Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize