when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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