careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
