I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
