I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
