im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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