My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
