I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
