i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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