ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
