Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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