finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
