Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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