Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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