I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
