I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
