Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
