Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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