When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
