Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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