He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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