Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize