I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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