Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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