I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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