Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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