mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
