there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
