really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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