I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize