in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
