physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
