We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
